All Heart
by LaLaGirl33
Summary: Jax and Tara are teenagers, just getting to know each other. This is a follow-up to my previous Sons of Anarchy one-shot, All Right. Short and sweet. I hope you enjoy.


**Author's Note:** This is my second Sons of Anarchy fic and is a follow-up to a one-shot I wrote titled "All Right". I hope you enjoy, and if you do, please let me know by favoriting, following or leaving a review! Characters created by Kurt Sutter.

**All Heart**

Jax had decided he liked the way her skinny little arms held onto him for dear life; but even more, he liked the feel of her sweet little body pressed tight against his own as they rode through the streets of Charming. He wasn't sure when that had changed; after all, who didn't like the thought of having girls on the back of your bike? The only thing better than a Harley was a hot chick to go with it. And once he was old enough to have his own kutte, he'd have a solid collection going. He couldn't wait to get his patch and officially be one of SAMCRO. So he'd always liked giving girls a ride. It was part of the life, having an old lady was something he'd have some day. He was glad he'd ran into Tara Knowles that day at the cemetery. He felt an instant connection with her, and he liked being around her. She was funny, and smart, and she didn't put on an act like all the other girls did around him.

At first when they started hanging out, it was just a friendly thing they had going, and then they started spending more time with each other – one because it was fun, and two because it was convenient. That one time, when he'd been keeping her company while she was waiting for her dad to pick her up from school, and her old man had shown up half-drunk. Well since then, he'd offered to take her to and from school and had been doing so ever since. He didn't mind, it actually gave him a reason to get out of bed, knowing Tara was waiting on him and needed the ride. He didn't give a shit what his mom had to say about it either. For some reason, she didn't like Tara much. He didn't give a damn. He'd pick her up from school, and they'd go riding around, or go somewhere to do homework, or just hang out doing whatever, and then he'd take her home. And then they'd do it again the next day.

And then there was that one day that things had changed.

"Hey Tara," he greeted her Friday at his bike after school was out, and handed her the spare helmet that he was thinking more and more of as Tara's helmet, since she wore it just about every day.

"Hey," she responded with a grin as she took the helmet from him and put it on. "I am so glad this day is over. Hello winter break!"

"You're telling me," he responded with a smile. "No school for two weeks and I can't wait to sleep in every single day!"

A sad look came over her face, and he frowned. What was that about, he wondered? He told himself he'd get to the bottom of it later. He slipped his gloves on as she settled onto his bike behind him.

"Hey, you got somewhere you gotta be?" he asked her. She shook her head no. "Good, because I wanna show you something. You ready?" he asked, and in response, she put her arms around his waist comfortably. They'd both gotten the hang of this.

He pulled out of the parking lot to ride through Charming's downtown. All the shops were decked out with pine garland and lights amidst the backdrop of Christmas carols playing from the outdoor speakers of one shop, and alongside the ringing of the Salvation Army bell outside another. Jax wondered if the fact that Christmas was just a few days away was part of what had made the smile fall from her face when he mentioned how he planned to spend winter break. He frowned and found himself dropping his hand briefly to hers to give it a quick squeeze as he stopped at the red light. "You okay back there?" he turned his head back to ask her. "I can take you home instead if you want. We can do this another time. It's all good, darlin'."

"No, no, Jax, I want to go, even though I have no idea where you're taking me. Should I be worried?" Her voice gave away the fact that she was, in fact, maybe just a little bit worried.

What a loaded question. He wasn't quite successful at stopping the chuckle that he knew she could feel under her hands, and made light of it, "Naw darlin'. You know me. You got nothing to worry about. Trust me." And with that, he sped away from downtown towards the outskirts of Charming.

He felt his breath catch a little as he made the turn down the entrance to the small park. He hadn't been here in a long time. The place was empty, but even still, he slowed the Harley as they approached the small parking lot. This place just commanded that he do it. The engine quieted to a more steady, slow purr as he pulled it into the lot. He he licked his lip, a little nervously, as they came to a stop. No time to second guess yourself now, jackass, he thought to himself, and prepared to dismount.

Tara got off the bike first, and he took the helmet she handed to him, watching as her face went still and her jaw dropped a little as she got her first look around. "What is this place?" she asked him, wonderment raising the timber of her voice a pitch higher than normal.

About 30 feet away, was a beautiful statue of an angel. Wings at rest, arms outstretched, the angel had a gentle and peaceful posture. It was set in a fountain, where two small cherubs on either side poured water into the circular stone pool. He took her fingers in his, and he remembered the last time he'd held her hand, not too long ago. And just like then, her hand slid into his with an ease that felt uncommonly natural to him; and at that moment, he couldn't recall ever holding anyone else's hand like that. Not ever.

He gently took her hand more firmly in his as they walked towards the fountain. They stepped onto the brick pavers that surrounded it, some of the faces were blank, others had names and dates etched onto them. The sea of bricks encircled the fountain into a large square, with comfortable wooden benches circling the square for people to rest upon. Jax had sat on them many times. He led her to the closest one and they sat down, with the arms of the outstretched angel reaching out to them.

He cleared his throat and said, "This park, well it's not on any official maps of Charming. But…it's very important to many. Officially? It's the Park of St. Nicholas. But everyone calls it the Lost Children's Park. It's a memorial park, dedicated to the lives of children who have passed on. Parents or family members can buy a brick, and have it engraved, some of the benches are in memory of someone's child too. Even the trees that are planted all around here…many of them are for someone. It's just a different place for people to go to light a candle, or say a prayer, or grieve the loss of a child. A lost child. Some not even born yet. Because you know, for some parents, going to a graveyard where their child is buried…it's just too hard. So this place…well, it's a different means to the same end. And there's a…like a fellowship between these parents. A lot of them come on the same day of the same month to light candles. Support groups meet here sometimes. Stuff like that."

She turned to look at him, sadness in her eyes, as she asked the obvious next question. "So if so few people know about it, how do you know about it, Jax?"

He answered her solemnly. "Because my little brother has a stone here. Right over there." He pointed in the general direction of Thomas' brick. "Thomas was six. He died right before my 12th birthday. It was really hard. He'd been sick, up and down and up and down, and my dad was away a lot, and my mom was…well it was all pretty fucked up. But I loved that little guy. I don't know why he had to go…but…" he stopped. "But I didn't bring you here because of my little brother, or because of me at all." He paused, not sure how to say what he wanted to tell her. He took a deep breath before continuing, and then met her steady gaze with his own.

"I brought you here, because I thought this is a place for you. And for me too. Because, if this is a safe place for parents to mourn the loss of their lost children, with St. Nicholas, the patron saint of children, then that means this is also a place for children who have lost their parents. A place for lost, living children. This is a place we can mourn the loss of our parents." He paused, and waited for her to say something.

Her chin trembled a little. "I like that Jax. I like that a lot." She gave him a sad little smile, holding back tears. "This time of year is really hard for me. My dad…I haven't really ever talked about it much, but he drinks a lot. And I know a lot of people's parents drink a lot, but this isn't like that. He drinks until he passes out, he gets really angry sometimes, other times he's really sad. I don't even know what is normal anymore. And there's no one to go to for help. I have no one. No family. No family friends." A tear trickled down her cheek. "Sometimes I feel like I'm screaming and drowning and no one can hear me. No one but me. I hear myself screaming all the time."

Jax's heart broke while her truth spilled out, and she wiped the tears from her eyes. She was right, he had no idea what it was like to live with an alcoholic parent.

"Does he hurt you? I mean, lay his hands on you when he's drunk?" That question seemed to steady her a bit and she sat up straight again, a stronger look in her eye.

"No. Never."

He nodded his head. "Okay. How can I help you?"

"I don't know," she whispered.

He reached out and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her forehead. "I don't know either, but we'll figure it out. Okay? I like you Tara. And I don't like seeing you like this."

She sniffled. "I mean, most times it's not so bad. I don't want you to think it's like that 24/7. But the holidays, they _are_ harder. It's just me and him, and we have a tree up, and he gets me presents. He tries. But he's just…not very good at coping or hiding it. And when he goes off the deep end…well… there's no end deep enough, I don't think."

They sat in silence, each unsure of what to say next, so Jax just stroked her hair and held her. He liked holding her like this. This was a new feeling for him. He wanted to protect her. And she wasn't Thomas, or his best friend, or family. She was a girl. And she was going through some shit. Had been for some time, it sounded like. Jax knew he had to cheer her up. Somehow, someway. Give her something to look forward to.

"Well, I've got an idea. Maybe I can help. Just a little." He started seriously, but there was a little bit of a smile as he spoke out loud.

"What?" she asked with a hint of a grin.

"I'm gonna keep you so busy, you won't even know what day it is during winter break."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. And just how do you think we're going to do that? We have no money, and we live in Charming."

He scoffed. "Where's your imagination, darlin'? There's a whole world of mischief out there just waiting for us to grab it by the horns and ride it around this whole town!"

"Like what?!"

Jax smiled. "Like there's this movie I wanna see. Tombstone. About the old west. Some old gunslinger tries to turn his life around…it's supposed to badass. You, me, and Ope. We'll check it out. And there's a Harley show coming to Lodi. We have to be there. And didn't I see they're putting in a temporary ice skating rink out by Memorial Park? We should go. They'll probably give us hot cocoa and shit and we can spike it with that peppermint vodka or whatever. I'll ask Gemma."

She raised her eyebrows. "You'd ask your mom about what alcohol to put into hot cocoa?"

"No, I'd ask her about the ice skating. She'd never admit it but she loves that shit." He grinned at her. His mom may be a hardcore old lady, but she was a sucker for nostalgia.

She laughed out loud. "Really? I never would have thought of Gemma Teller going skating."

"Oh yeah. I bet she and Clay would totally do it. Maybe we could get some of the guys to go. SAMCRO-capades."

She laughed harder, which was entirely his goal. But he was sure Gemma would bring Clay. He went everywhere she did these days. He totally expected him to be in his skivvies at the breakfast table on Christmas morning. It had just been over a month… but there was something going on with those two. He knew it. He pushed that thought aside. Clay could be a douche, but he guessed he'd have to learn to live with him. Literally.

"I could get into all that…I think you're on to something, Teller. Whoever said you were heartless, sure doesn't know you the way I do."

He smiled and bit his lip a little to keep it from spreading too far across his face. "I'm all heart, darlin'. All heart."

~FIN~


End file.
